


Please, Sam, Remember

by 19thjester



Category: Quantum Leap
Genre: M/M, Sappy, Somewhat angsty?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 18:04:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11362758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/19thjester/pseuds/19thjester
Summary: Al badly misses Sam and hopes Sam will remember him and what they had together during a Leap.





	Please, Sam, Remember

"Sam?" Al whispered. "Are you awake?"

No answer. The man who was his best friend and (when he wasn’t out Leaping) partner slept on in the teenager's bed. Sports memorabilia and clothes littered the room. Outside, a spring thunderstorm pounded the bedroom window.

At least this was a straightforward leap. Ziggy said there were no relationships involved. All Sam had to do was ace a bunch of tests, which he'd been faithfully studying for the last two days. No big deal.

What a joke. Here was a Nobel Prize winner, gifted in the field of physics, and he was helping some high school kid pass tests so he wouldn't screw up his future and end up digging ditches. Al tilted his head as he watched Sam. Hell, at least it beat being in a diaper.

In a sleepless fit, Al had come here to watch the man he loved. Yes, the  _ man _ . It had taken him a long time to accept, because while there were many women in Al Calavicci's life, there was only one man. 

How had it started? Al could never really remember, thanks to the twists and turns leaping played with history. At first, Al had recorded his changing memories of those early days with Ziggy, but he'd soon given up on that. Those ephemeral memories were like sand slipping through his fingers.

This timeline... let's see. It was 1984, which meant they had been making Orwell jokes all year. Something about Reagan being Big Brother? Star Bright was underway and Sam and Al were roommates after Al's divorce from Sharon. One day, Sam told Al, "I met someone, but I turned her down."

"What for?" Al's eyes widened. "Why turn down a decent woman? I assume she was decent because it's you, but... hold on, Sam! What was her name?"

"Al." Sam was laughing. "You hold on! I'm not telling you. Anyway, I turned her down because-"

"Oh come on, Sam, if you're going to toss her aside, might as well let me have her. Come on, what's her name? I've been dying to get back into the game."

"By leeching off of my leftovers?" 

Al shrugged. "Hey, whatever works."

Sam held up his hands in exasperation. "Al. Please. Can you not interrupt me for the next five minutes?"

"Okay, okay. So you turned her down. Why?"

"I realized that I wasn't that interested in her. I was interested in someone else. And... I didn't get why I wanted this other person. They're not usually my type."

Al raised an eyebrow, not wanting to interrupt.

"I'd talked to other people before, who thought this person’d had a thing for me for years. When I met this woman, I wanted to be attracted to her. But I wasn't, because I was already attracted to someone else."

"Sam?" Al gulped. "What are you getting at?" It couldn't be. Could it?

Sam laid a hand on Al's forearm. "It's you, Al. Listen, if I'm mistaken, if your exes were mistaken, then I'm really sorry, I'll go back and find that woman, I'll apologize-"

"No, no, Sam. Don't." Then Al found himself on top of Sam, kissing him like he'd been dreaming of doing for years.

When they finally came apart, shirts half off, Al asked, breathing heavily, "Who did you ask about me?"

"Ruth and Sharon. Patty too. All of them said you often said my name in your sleep." Sam was smiling at Al now.

"Patty? No wonder she didn't hang around long... Oh God, and I thought Ruthie was divorcing me because I sang Volare in my sleep." Al covered his eyes with one hand.

Sam kissed Al's hand, going over his eyes. "It's okay. We both know now and we want each other."

_ "It's you, Al." _

Those three words that had meant so much to him. Al looked at the man in the bed who a stripped-down memory had robbed from him. And now Sam would probably never say, "I love you, Al," again.

It was 1990. Project Quantum Leap was taking off and they were on a date for their third "wedding" anniversary. Well, they were supposed to be. Al wanted to celebrate, but Sam had the project on his mind.

"Look, Al, we don't know what's going to happen to me when I end up actually time traveling."

"Sam, dear, can you please focus? We are at a nice restaurant for dinner, not in the Project's meeting room."

Sam sighed. "What if I forget you, Al? What if I forgot about everything important to us while I'm out there in time?"

"Sam, Sam, we'll figure it out. Let's order. Please?"

Sam leaned forward and took Al's hands in his own. "Look, if I forget about our relationship, then can you promise me that you won't tell me anything about us?"

Al's eyebrows contracted. "What do you mean, I won't tell you- I'm your partner, for pete's sake!"

"Two problems." Sam tapped his index finger. "One, this project falls under the jurisdiction of the Navy and you're already struggling with hiding our relationship. We can’t say anything about us at the project!" Sam tapped his middle finger. "Two, this is a scientific experiment. I have to keep my mind clear of any biases. I can't let anything personal interfere with how I think during this experiment."

Al's eyes widened. "But Sam...!" Then he had to stop and think, putting his chin in his hands. Sam was right. Damn the Navy!  Sure, he'd managed to pull some strings for this project, but it still put them between the fire and a hard place. Or was it from the frying pan to a rock. However that went!

"I love you, Al. I always will," Sam promised him.

Did Sam still love him, even through his swiss-cheesed memories? Al wasn't sure. But the vows they'd taken included "for better, for worse... to cherish until death do us part." Well, this fell under "for worse," and Sam wasn't dead yet. 

There had been that one leap, hadn't there? The one with the sister who had an abusive fiancé. Sam had said "I love you" to Al on that leap. Okay, Al would take whatever he could get.

Feeling tired enough to finally go to sleep, Al passed his hand through Sam's head then winced. That wasn't right, was it? Too bad he couldn't kiss Sam good night.

The next morning, Al caught up with Sam at school. "Hey! How did the first test go?"

"High school physics is easy, but it was nice to get a refresher." Sam was hiding out in a hidden corner of the courtyard while he talked to Al. "Next period is free. I can review for the English test then."

"Great, great." Al punched at his handlink. "Ziggy says you have a sixty-five percent chance-"

Something on Sam’s belt beeped. Sam touched his belt to find a pager with the scrolling text message, “GAS STATION - MICHAEL.”

“Who’s Michael? And why does this high school kid have a pager in 1995?”

"His parents are loaded, remember? I'll find out." Sam got up. “I’m going to the gas station now.”

"John needs to pass his tests, Sam," Al pointed out. "Not play hooky."

"I know, Al, but I can't abandon John's friends. I'll say hello then get back to studying."

Al, in resplendent red and gold, followed Sam to the gas station. A boy the same age as Sam was waiting there. His hair was cropped short and he was wearing a T-shirt with the Marine Corps logo on it. Before Al could process this and start asking Ziggy for information on this boy, the boy grabbed Sam in a tight hug then kissed him on the lips.

"Hey!" Al protested.

Sam responded by hugging him back but not responding to the kiss with as much enthusiasm. "Hey, Michael? What- what's going on?"

"Look, I'm sorry," Michael said. "I've been busy with the other poolees lately because we're going to be sworn in next week. I thought I'd catch up with you before we have to drop our relationship far below the radar."

"Right," Sam said. "That's right, you're being sworn into the Marines?"

"The few, the proud. Just can't let any of my poolees see you, you know?"

Behind Sam, Al said, "The poolees must be the other guys who are joining up with him."

"Right," Sam said. "God, it's going to be so hard with you away at boot camp."

"We'll make it, babe. I'll see you whenever I'm home on leave, and you work on college. Then I get out, you help me while I work on college, and we'll get to be together forever."

"But to go to college, I need to ace my tests. And I need to pass English next."

"What's the book?"

Sam dug through the battered green backpack. "Let's see... oh, Waiting for Godot."

Michael scoffed. "That one should be easy as pie for you. You really like those weird play writers, like that one, and Tom... Tom... what's the one you said was a bounced check?"

"...Tom Stoppard?"

"Yeah! That! You should be fine. Can I take you out to lunch today? We need as much time together before I leave for boot."

"Michael. It'll be fine. Focus on finishing school so you can graduate and I'll focus on my tests so I can go to college. How's that?"

"All right. We got each other, remember that! Always and forever!"

Al watched Michael leave with narrowed eyes. "I see why John failed those tests to begin with."

"Al. Take it easy. I'll keep focused."

Al shook his head. "Someone like him shouldn't be in the military. He'll be thinking too much about his boyfriend to be capable of serving."

"And how is that any different from, say, you thinking about your girlfriend while serving in the Navy?"

Al's eyes widened, then he scowled. "It is different, because he's going to be surrounded by the kinds of people he's into. How will his fellow Marines know if they can trust him?"

"That's ridiculous." Sam shook his head. "Come back when you've decided to join the twentieth century, huh?"

Al disappeared through a wall of light. In the Imaging Chamber, he buried his face in his hands as he tried not to cry.

Why had he done that? Pure survival instinct, anything to look straight. It wasn't right, but it was what he had to do. He’d had to fight for so long to keep their relationship hidden. And after sixteen years, his strategies were still working. 

Al wiped at his eyes. What had Sam done? He'd responded to Michael’s kiss. Maybe that was a good sign? Maybe Sam somehow remembered the man he'd committed himself to before Leaping out into time?

Al had to go back, apologize to Sam. His military self had taken over with his civilian friend and lover, and it was important never to cross those lines.

Taking a deep breath and making sure his eyes were clear, Al went back.

When the swirl dissolved, Al was standing in a classroom. Sam's back was to him as he bent over a test. Another class... Al looked at the clock in the classroom. About twenty minutes left.

He turned invisible then stood next to Sam as he finished the English test. Al was almost tempted to help Sam with the answer for this one, but he knew it wouldn't be a good sign if the teenager sitting here yelped and almost fell out of his seat while taking his final. So he went back to the door to wait for Sam.

Sam finished his test, turned it in and then left. "Lunchtime," Sam whispered as he passed by Al, who followed.

When Sam had sat down in a secluded corner to eat John's packed lunch, Al said, "...I'm sorry about what I said earlier."

Sam frowned at him. "What's gotten into you, Al? Aren't you usually accepting of everyone?"

"I had a good buddy in the Navy. Greatest pilot I ever knew. But he couldn't keep his relationships with other guys on the downlow, so he was given a less than honorable discharge. I'm just worried for John and Michael." 

Sam didn't say a word. He concentrated on his lunch.

"Are... you okay with this whole situation? I mean, you've had a hard time whenever you've been in a woman who has a husband."

Sam continued to chew for a while. Then he swallowed. "I don't know, Al. This time feels different. I didn't feel grossed out when Michael kissed me, if that's what you're asking. But it also didn't feel right."

"Like you aren't attracted to men?" Al watched Sam's face, looking for any flicker of memory.

"Not quite." Sam's eyebrows came together. "Like... this isn't who I'm meant to be with, like there's supposed to be only one guy out there for me."

Al stayed quiet. If only he could say something...

"Al?" There was a faint glimmer of hope in Sam's eyes. "Do I have anyone back home like that?"

"You know the rules, Sam. I can't tell you anything."

"Wait. Am I married? Do I have a girlfriend or a boyfriend?"

"...yes to the first question, but that's all I can tell you. I'm sorry."

"I'm married? Really? I think I remember a ceremony, but I don't remember who-”

"It doesn't matter now, Sam." Al waved it away. "What matters is that John needs to pass his tests while spending some quality time with Michael."

Sam nodded and finished his lunch. He had one more final that day, then three more the next day. 

With Al watching, invisible, Michael showed up outside the door of Sam's last final for that day. "Hey babe, want to blow this one? You said you had the highest grade in this class already and I miss you."

Sam smiled and gave Michael's hand a quick squeeze. "I'll be seeing you after I'm done. This one should be a breeze."

Michael let go. As Sam walked into the classroom, his eyes widened. Al hoped he was remembering, at last.

When Sam finished, Al waited, visible by the door. "Sam! Hey, how did that go? Did you see something?"

Sam didn't seem to hear Al. Instead, he walked right through the hologram.

Al blinked several times. What was going on? He followed Sam, running down the hall after him. "Hey! What's the matter with you? Sam. Sam! Sa-am! Listen to me!"

Once they were outside, Sam turned to Al, said, “I’m sorry, but I need to deal with some other things right now. I’ll talk to you later.” Then Sam hurried off.

Al was bewildered as he left the Imaging Chamber. The only one in Control was Ziggy, since everyone else was out in a meeting. "Admiral. You have broken an important protocol."

Al squinted at the crackling blue ball. "What protocol?"

"The one where Dr. Beckett said not to tell him anything personal about himself when he's on a Leap."

"Oh come on, Ziggy, I've broken that a-"

"You told him he was married when there's no record of a marriage certificate in his name. The people who check the Imaging Chamber’s records are going to wonder what you meant by that."

Shit. Well, they weren't going to get an official one any time soon, but-

"I have expunged that conversation from the record."

"Oh, thank you, thank you, you beautiful bucket of bolts! Is there anything I can do to show my deepest gratitude?"

"Talk to Dr. Beckett about this tomorrow."

Al’s shoulders drooped. "Ziggy. You know I can't-"

"I'll manufacture an equipment failure during your conversation."

"Ziggy." In spite of himself, Al had to grin. Then his grin faded. "I don't know. I don't want to make Sam guilty."

"I think this Leap is triggering memories of you two together, so he needs a way to resolve that."

"I don't want to push him too much," Al said. "How's the progress on the retrieval program?"

"Over fifty percent chances of success at this point. Didn't you want at least seventy-five percent?"

"I did. See you later, Ziggy." Al trudged off to check in with the meeting in progress.

The next morning, as he directed various teams on their projects and checked on several others, Al was thinking about Sam. When would it be safe to go check on him? Was he staying focused on the Leap or was he spending too much time with Michael?

Early afternoon, Al went in. Sam was in the middle of his last final. So it must be almost time to wrap up this Leap.

Michael was sitting cross-legged outside of the classroom, reading something spiral-bound. Before Al could lean in to get a better look, see if he was reading a military manual, Michael jumped up. "Johnny boy! How'd you do?"

"I think I did great! Come on, let's go get ice cream. You've got, what, two hours until you have to go to the recruiting center?"

Michael shook his head. "I don't know about the ice cream. I was already having a little trouble at my last weighing in."

"Then just me! Come on, some quality time with your boyfriend at least?"

"What, last night wasn't enough for you? But remember, tell the recruiters you're just my buddy..."

Al, eyes narrowed and lips tightened, followed the two boys to the local ice cream parlor. Last night? What on earth had they done last night?

Sam ordered a sundae then he sat down with Michael. Al "sat down" at a different table nearby to eavesdrop.

Sam told Michael, "I was just remembering this ex-boyfriend I once had. We broke up before you moved here."

"What about him? Do you miss him?"

"Yeah. Some people who come through your life... I think you'll always hold a candle for those people. I'll always love you, Michael, no matter what happens."

"Thank you. Look, don't worry about me, all right? I'll be fine." Michael slapped Sam on the shoulder.

Sam finished his ice cream and then said, "Shouldn't you be at the recruiting center early? I'll catch up with you."

"You're right! See you there, babe!" Michael rushed out of the parlor.

Sam waited until Michael was out of sight then went into an alley outside, Al on his heels. "Al. Can you look up Michael Capitaine? Born in... 1977?"

Al tapped on the handlink. "Sure. Well, he was honorably discharged from the Marines last year. The records don't have anything on whether or not he and John are still together.”

Sam nodded. “And John? John Barclay? What about him? Did he make it to college?"

"Oh! Ziggy says he just finished college. John is going to be fine. So what did you two do last night?" Al squinted one eye at Sam.

"Well. We did some things-"

"What things?!"

"Al, I'm not like you. I don't kiss and tell. Anyway, I realized that I'd been having those memories all Leap about being with a man. Being with Michael made those memories clear. It's you, Al, isn't it?"

Al's jaw dropped, surprised at hearing those three words again. "W-what?" he stammered.

"Who I'm married to. It's you, isn't it?"

"Oh God, Sam, I'm so sorry. I really shouldn't have told-"

"Al." Sam reached out, as if he wanted to stroke Al's cheek, then he stopped before his hand could go through. "It's okay. I love you."

Al looked up at him, eyes wide, then he smiled. "Love you too. Ziggy said we're at over fifty percent on the retrieval program, so you should be coming home any day now."

"That would be wonderful. Walk with me to the recruiting center? I'm sorry we can't hold hands."

They settled for walking next to each other. As they walked, Sam said in a low tone to Al, "Whatever happens, no matter how swiss-cheesed I am, I'll always love you, Al. I promise I'll come home to you one day."

"Love you always, my Sam," Al said and reached out for his hand. He swore he felt Sam's hand squeeze his before the Imaging Chamber's surroundings disappeared.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, maybe I had a little too much fun with this one with all the in-jokes. Maybe I put Samuel JOHN Beckett and Albert MICHAEL Calavicci through a bit too much. But this was fun as hell to write and I finally got a WIP out of the way!
> 
> As for the Tom Stoppard thing- if you didn't get that one, he's called himself a "bounced(/bouncing? been a while since I last heard this story) Czech." Also, for John's last name, go on and look up the playwright Samuel Beckett. Go on.


End file.
